A Supreme Larceny

(The Supreme Courts Campaign Finance Ruling)

By

Scott Brown

Opening credits

Interlaced with the open credits are shots of a butler preparing a meal in a high end kitchen. All shots are close ups of the hands. The last shot are the hands reaching into a pet carrier and removing a puppy. On the pet carrier is the word “Liberty.”

 SCENE ONE

A man is standing on the side walk. He is a younger man wearing an American flag baseball cap. He is holding a small replica of the Statue of Liberty. He strokes the statue and he appears to be deeply pondering some deep thought.

A man dressed in a black judge’s robe approaches the other man. On the back of the Judges robe are the words “Sup Court”. The judge is Antonin Scalia, Justice of the Supreme Court.

1.       Scalia            “Hey, whatcha doing?”

2.       Joe                 “Nothing, just haingin out, thinkin about stuff”

3.       Scalia            “Whatcha got there, in your hand?”

4.       Joe                 “What, this? “

(He holds up the statue)

5.       Joe                                 “This is my prize possession. It’s a symbol of what this country stands for, this is our freedom and our democracy. This statue represents what our forefathers fought so hard to create. This is what countless Americans have given their lives to defend. This is who and what we are as a country, a nation, this……..this is America.

6.       Scalia            “Wow, that’s really something, can I see it? Can I hold it for a minute?”

7.       Joe                 “I don’t know, it’s pretty valuable, I don’t know if I should….”

8.       Scalia            “Please, I won’t hurt it, I just want to hold it, I am an American too ya know”

9.       Joe                 “Well, I guess it will be ok, just for a minute. Please, be careful”

10.    Scalia           “I promise”

The man carefully hands the statue to Judge Scalia. The Judge carefully receives it, holds it with awe and strokes it gently

11.   Joe                 “Isn’t she beautiful”

12.   Scalia            “Yes, she is that”

All of a sudden, the Judge bolts off heading down the street with the statue, the man yells

13.   Joe                 “STOP, STOP, STOP THAT MAN, STOP HIM, STOP HIM!”

The man takes off in hot pursuit of the Judge continuing to yell. The Judge and the man run down the street and into a park.

SCENE TWO

 Sitting at a park bench are four other Judges in black robes. They are the four liberal Judges, Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Stevens. Three are knitting, Stevens is doing needle point creating a piece sign. The bench is next to a large tree. They notice Judge Scalia running past them. Judge Breyer looks up

14.   Breyer          “Wasn’t that….?”

15.   Sotomayor  “Scalia”               

16.   Breyer          “Right”

17.   Stevens        “I wonder what he’s up to now”

18.   Breyer          “Who knows, probably up to no good”

19.   Ginsburg     “I wonder where the others are”

20.   Stevens        “I am sure they are somewhere close by, there never far apart”

21.   Sotomayor  “Ass holes”

The man follows running past the four sitting on the bench

22.   Joe                 “STOP, STOP HIM, HE STOLE MY FREEDOM, HE’S GOT MY DEMOCRACY!”

23.   Stevens        “Well, that explains it”

24.   All four         “Ass holes”

Breyer looks over and address the tree

25.   Breyer          “Oooh baby”

26.   Sotomayor “Sounds like Breyer is feelin randy again”

Breyer gets up and walks over to the tree, it is larger than him so he disappears behind it. We then see his arms come around the front as he hugs it.

27.   Ginsburg     “Hey Breyer, get a room”

Tight shot on Breyer’s face as he is clearly irritated by the comment

28.   Breyer          “SHHHH”

Breyer then resumes his hug with a smile on his face

SCENE THREE

Scalia, with Joe in hot pursuit, runs out of the park and into an alley. The alley opens out into a larger area. The other four Supreme Court Judges, the conservative ones, Roberts, Kennedy, Thomas, and Alito are standing, armed with gavels, two against the wall on either side where the alley ends ready to strike. The four judges are wearing base ball caps that have printed on them “Exxon Mobile”, “NRA”, “Fox News”, and “BP”, Scalia runs out of the alley and cuts hard right. The other four then step out in front of the man just as he reaches their position, they body block him to a stop and then proceed to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Scalia stops, out of breath he turns to see Joe getting beat by the other Judges.

Knowing that he is free and clear, Scalia smiles, grunts, and lets out a short laugh. Scalia then turns and struts away down the street whistling happily

From Joe’s perspective looking up from the ground, Thomas enters the frame on the right looking at Joe.

29.   Thomas        “Kennedy”

Kennedy enters frame from the left.

30.   Kennedy              “Sir?”

31.   Thomas                “Douse him”

32.   Kennedy      “Yes Sir”

Kennedy runs a short distance, 15 to 20 feet and picks up a plain white 5 gallon bucket with the “oil” in large black letters, runs back over to where the other three judges still surround Joe who is lying on the ground and pours the bucket of oil on the Joe, shot from Joes perspective.

SCENE FOUR

Scalia approaches two security guards outside of Cheney’s home, the two guards cut him off.

33.   Scalia            “I am here to see the boss”

Security guard #1 raises his wrist to his mouth

34.   Guard           “its Scalia, yes sir. Go on in, he’s expecting you”

Scalia goes up the steps and through the courtyard. Scalia enters and passes through double doors opened by butlers. He then enters through another set of doors and through another until he reaches the door to Cheney’s dining room.

35.   Scalia            “I got it”

The man at the table holds up his hand and signals for Scalia to enter. Scalia moves around the table and sits across from the man. As Scalia enters two butlers are clearing Cheney’s meal.

36.   Scalia            “I got it, I finally got it, for you sir, I got it for you”

In a deep and rough voice, the man speaks

37.   Cheney        “Give it to me”

As Scalia slowly hands the statue to the man, we pan around and the identity of the man is revealed, it is Dick Cheney

Cheney lets out a loud and evil laugh as he places a Halliburton hat on his head.

38.   Cheney        “They can’t stop me now, the world is mine, all mine!”

Cheney then hands to statue to Scalia.

39.   Cheney        “Put her in the safe”

40.   Scalia            “With pleasure Sir”

Scalia takes the statue and walks out of the dining room into a outer room where he opens a wall safe

and places the statue in the safe. A butler walks past him carrying a dome covered silver platter, he

walks into the dining room and approaches Cheney. The butler leans in towards Cheney.

41. Butler            “Your desert Sir”

The butler removes the dome lid to reveal the puppy for the opening credits. With a grunt Cheney

carefully picks up the puppy and raises it to his mouth as if to take a bite.

Fade out

SCENE FOUR

Fade in

Cheney is still seated at the table with a pile of bones on a plate in front of him as he naws at the last

one. Cheney looks up at the camera, stands up and starts speaking

42. Cheney         “Hello, I am not the person you think I am, I am just an actor playing him”

He removes the Halliburton hat and tosses it aside and then removes the “Dick” shirt exposing the

“Corporations are not people” shirt. He then starts walking toward the outer room.

Scalia is waiting in the outer room next to the safe.

43. Cheney         “We have had a good time today having some fun with the Supreme Courts 5 to 4 decision to allow corporations to spend unlimited funds on political campaigns”

*As each actor (judge) steps in they remove the black judges robe and toss it on a chair exposing the

“Corporations are not people” shirts

44. Scalia             “Even though the ““Campaign Finance Ruling”” does not allow for corporations to directly fund a campaign, it does allow them to spend whatever they want to fund pro or con advertisements to the advantage of the candidate of their choosing”  

The man steps in; he still bears the scars from the vicious beating

45. Joe                  “This effectively overturns a century old law governing campaign funding, the Tillman Act of 1907, with had the intent of leaving the process in the hands of the people.”

Ginsburg steps in

46. Ginsburg      “Not in the hands of the corporations. This ruling also reverses every other past ruling including part of the McCain/Feingold Campaign Finance Reform Act of 2002”

Roberts steps in

47. Roberts         “And this new ruling is totally unacceptable”

Kennedy steps in

48. Kennedy       “It effectively takes the power of our democracy away from the people”

Thomas steps in

49. Thomas         “And puts it in the hands of corporate America”

Sotomayor steps in

50. Sotomayor   “And we all know from past and recent events just how irresponsible those corporations can be”

Alito steps in

51. Alito               “So all efforts need to be made to reverse this damaging ruling and leave our democracy in the hands of the people, where it belongs”

Breyer steps in

52. Breyer           “Just as our fore fathers envisioned. You see, this is a country of the people, by the people, and for the people”

Stevens steps in

53. Stevens         “Not the corporations, because corporations are not people”

54. ALL                  “Pay attention, get involved, be the change you want”

-END-